The daily planner, a past staple in the arsenal of any well-organized Capilano student, now costs a whopping one-dollar.
That is an estimated one dollar more than the planners’ previous price.
A Capilano Students’ Union (CSU) representative was recently overheard explaining that the new charge is due to the addition of a ruler to each planner. The rulers, which neatly detach and reattach as bookmarks, are made from costly plastic. Despite later disavowals of this explanation by various CSU representatives, there is no denying the coordinated arrival between the addition of these rulers and the new charge.
The rulers are 19 centimetres in length, not accounting for the extra space at each end that contains no distance markers. This is usfeul for measuring small objects such as pens and erasers. The ruler could also be used to measure the accuracy of an even smaller ruler, although one may hard pressed to find such a thing.
It should be noted that the dollar that students are spending on these planners could elsewhere be spent on trinkets and curiosities, including candy, two single cigarettes from someone on the street, three stamps, a sample pack of Nag Champa incense, a Homies action figure, or a can of soda from a non-campus vending machine.
Ironically, on the page following the week of September 14-20 in the planner, “handbook” is listed as one of the free services provided by the CSU. It is unclear whether this “handbook” is, in fact, the planner itself. Whether the CSU still plans on issuing some kind of rulerless edition of the planner to Capilano's more frugal students remains unclear.
Student reaction to the new cost has been generally varied. Some students will undoubtedly find the dollar fee a minor price to pay for the new improvements. Others, who struggle with the organizational arts but naturally excel at geometry, will likely consider these changes superfluous, or even outrageous.
A visibly exasperated student, who wished to remain nameless, commented, “It’s simply ludicrous that I have to pay money for an agenda now. I, Matthew Jolliffe, will not stand for this outrage.” There is no word yet on this student’s apparent plans for revenge - although at this point, he has refused to buy a planner. He has been managing by scribbling assignments and email addresses on the back of his hand “and the occasional napkin,” although his arms have become densely populated with nonsensical ramblings, and his pockets have become filled with indecipherable messes of tissue.
To purchase a planner, visit the CSU lounge in the Maple Building. Condoms remain complimentary.
Giles Roy
Scoop Scooper
