Wishing Stereos would "disband"

What's wrong with you kids today? I'm starting to feel disconnected from your generation's music sooner than I would have liked to. How is an old man supposed to feign youthfulness when all you tweens and teenyboppers listen to is stinking, putrid tripe?

Don't believe me? Take Stereos, a band discovered and shaped on MuchMusic reality television series Disband. Greig Nori, onetime lead singer of Canadian rock band Treble Charger, acts as the shows featured "guru". Bad taste, but good at his job, as Stereos was signed to Universal Canada. The band's first single debuted at number two on the Canadian Hot 100. Depressing. On Disband, this is how Stereos introduce themselves:

"I'm pat, the lead singer and definitetly the best looking member. That's Dan, he's our bassist, he loves life. Rob plays the rhythm guitar and the young girls hearts. Myles is our resident music head, and the lead guitarist. And behind
the drums is Brad."

Awful. And unfortunately, they are Canadian. It seems like all the popular Canadian bands are total cods-wallop nowadays. What happened to representing our country with quality artists, like Rush, the Barenaked Ladies and Celine Dion?
Lately, the only popular Canadian musical exports have been bands such as Nickelback, Avril Lavigne, Simple Plan and Hedley, the latter two having "benifited from Grieg Nori's "expertise"
. Honestly, folks, whatever happened to musical integrity?

 Stereos describe their sound as Hip-hop, doo-wop, and pop. As nauseating as that is to say, just wait until you hear their music. As you might expect from a band who made their debut through reality television, their sound is excessively manufactured. An unrelenting smear of auto-tune is pervasive over the vocals, which take centre stage as the driving force behind the band's hooks. There's basic instrumentation, but it serves as a backing for the horrendous vocals. This is, of course, fairly normal for pop, which is a genre that utilizes vocals as the primary driving force. Traditionally rock music does the opposite.

Now, if Stereos referred to themselves as a straight up pop act I would be perfectly fine in ignoring the whole shabangle and letting you whippersnappers listen to your own version of LFO. The most mind boggling aspect of Stereos, however, is their image. The band looks as though they ought to be playing some lady-friendly screamo. They are covered in tattoos and piercings, plus they sport the "edgy" and "trendy" hairstyles to match. Why is it that you tweens have accepted this horribly bizarre contradiction
of style and music? Conventions exist for a reason, and they are something
that I, as an old man, am an advocate for.

During the filming of Disband, the lead singer, Pete, wears sleeveless shirts of The Ramones, Misfits and Iron Maiden. Give me a break - those bands would want nothing to do with these suburban white kids led by a Criss Angel Mindfreak clone.  Not only that, but if he likes these bands enough to wear their shirts, you might expect them to have some sort of an influence on the musical style. Instead, he sounds like the robotic bastard son of T-Payne and Cher. The t-shirts are an obvious marketing tool attempting to giving
these posers some street cred.

Stereos are trying to appeal to every demographic at once. They are singing bright pop songs, which seemingly everyone loves. They are dressed rock n' roll but not the kind that has an odour, and their lyrics lean toward the hip-hop sensibilities. It has no clear direction, but it doesn't matter because it's selling.

It's nasty rancid filth. My advice to you kids is to just skip the gullible period where you just think that any popular artist is good. Think about what you are putting into your brain. Stereos, and bands like them, are garbage.
You only have so much time in your lives to experience good music, trust
me. Listen to something else. Anything else is better.

//Marco Ferriera

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