NEW FUNDING FOR CAP WEIGHT ROOM
The Capilano Department of Athletics and Recreation announced on March 12th that they have purchased two new dumbbells for the Sportsplex weight room, a facility that is already considered world-class. The dumbbells both weigh fifty pounds and will be housed on the weight rack after being re-painted to match the other dumbbells in the facility. “Despite a low budget, we have managed to put together a fantastic weight room,” said Athletic Director Bob Ondiks, who also mentioned that the facility was “recognized by enthusiasts as having one of the best collections of mid-seventies cardio machines in all of Canada.”HAGGARD ADVICE
In November of 2006, high-profile anti-gay evangelical pastor Ted Haggard was caught high on methamphetamine in a hotel. He was also enjoying the services of a male prostitute. Now, four years later on the Joy Behar show, the disgraced Haggard claims he is no longer homosexual and offered up some advice for another sex-scandal victim: Tiger Woods. “When somebody makes a horrible series of mistakes the way I made, and the way Tiger made, even though they were different in nature, it’s important for others to keep their hearts soft,” said Haggard, drawing obvious comparisons between hypocrites and sex-addicted narcissists. He's hoping that some good ol' forgiveness will rub off on him from Woods, who just enrolled in sex-rehab and admitted that he was wrong. Boo hoo.
WEIGHT ROOM THEFT
The William Griffin workout facility in North Vancouver is looking for a suspect in a theft that took place on March 11th. According to an attendant, a man in his early forties entered the weight room at 10:30 AM and, after using the recumbent bike for several minutes, exited the building, stealing two of the facility's dumbbells on the way out. Griffin is encouraging anyone with information on the theft to call the front desk at 604-986-7789. Both dumbbells weigh fifty pounds and have the letters GWR painted on them.
// Mac Fairbairn
sports editor
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