Construction crusaders conserve Capilano's core communication compounds

The lives of thousands of students have potentially been saved by a recent key decision that the construction workers of Capilano University made.

On Monday, February 15th at 9:02 am, a relatively urgent phone call was made by Cap's administration, stating that the communication pipelines to and from the Maple Building would require immediate maintenance.

The communication lines in question involved telephone lines, cable Internet, and security and safety lines. Workers raced against the clock, as the engineering involved in reworking the vital communication lines without hindrance required extreme precision.

Although there was some optimism surrounding the fact that student attendance at the university would be lower than normal due to the Olympic holiday, all hope quickly ended as the disheartened crew was forced to accept that any salvation of communication lines would have to carry on after Olympics and during regular student attendance.

To further complicate the issue, the construction crew quickly discovered that the Maple Building housed two of the largest student societies – the Capilano Students' Union and the Courier. Any faltering in the communication of these two societies could potentially create a 'snowball-effect' among other societies and could affect the lives of any of the 7000 students at Capilano University.

“Security alarms, phone calls, faxes, Internet access, and a means for communication is not only the staple of any democracy but also widely considered a human right. To imagine an entire students' union... and not only them but the students' press on top of that ... For them to be without any form of communication with the outside world is nothing short of horrific. How could a university even run without student communication? Is it even possible? And not to be too ontological about the matter... but what would be the point of the university's existence in itself if it cannot communicate and thus transfer the knowledge it wishes to share?” local protesters chanted in the streets.

Yet, without hesitation, the tactical decision to escort students one-by-one around predetermined routes around the Maple Building to avoid construction hazards was effectively implemented. Without panic and with a strict adherence to the construction protocols – set forth by the BC Construction Industry Standards and Guidelines Version 2010 – the mission was deemed accomplished on Saturday, March 7th at 3:26 pm. Throughout the entire ordeal, it was clear that the well-being of students was top priority among the staff (as the Courier believes it should be).

What makes a Hero?

Donned in their neon-yellow apparel, 3M reflective tape power-bands, and fully-armoured helmets (CFA-approved), the brave men and women of this construction team stood in unison. Although they're a people of few words, their hardy build holds many stories. For every wrinkle on their face is a heroic tale. For every scar, a legendary battle. And for every twinkle in their eye, a deep non-sexual lust for raw moist humanity.

“I'm no hero,” the humble construction worker says unpretentiously. While the “no hero” line is a typical understatement that is only made by the greatest of heroes – David Banner, Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, etc. – there is a sense that this worker really means it. “No, I really do mean it. We're just installing pipes. You're making it seem bigger than it is,” he modestly counters.

When explained why the people are indebted to his team's work he merely replies with esoteric techno-babble: “We used small concrete pipes for the wires...” Only to conclude with, “There's nothing heroic about that.”

And this reporter would almost believe him if it weren't for the fact that when a short interview was requested, all the workers declined to go on record and refused to give their full names.

Just this past week, Finland's government passed a motion that Internet access would indeed be considered a human right, since it provides accessibility to knowledge. “Knowledge is life,” the old adage goes, and if communication is knowledge then the recent maintenance on Capilano's communication wires has saved lives. The least students can do is remember the gift of communication that lies three feet below their feet, and to commemorate it before it is three feet above their final resting place.

// Alamir Novin
scoop scooper

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© 2011 The Capilano Courier. phone: 604.984.4949 fax: 604.984.1787 email: editor@capilanocourier.com