On Greg Lee, Doctor

Dr. Greg Lee is the current president of Capilano University, and has devoted his life to the success of this school. Now, he is retiring and will be succeeded by another worthy president (who will hopefully take abuse from the Courier as well as old Dr. Lee). 

He began teaching here in 1971 and has seen this campus through every significant evolution, from its humble beginnings in cheap portables, to the beautiful treasure we all enjoy today. He has won numerous accolades and has held many prestigious positions over the years. In 2003, he was awarded the Commemorative Medal for the Golden Jubilee of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II to honour his stunning contribution to the world of academics and education.

We applaud you, Dr. Lee, for your unswerving commitment to the students of this school. However, because you gave us a boring interview when we asked you for some fond memories, we must still abuse you. Please accept our sincerest thanks and rest well in your retirement coffin. We will bring you the virgin blood you have asked of us.


As a young boy scout, little Greg Lee delighted in nature. One enchanted evening, while sitting on his favourite log, he heard a radio broadcast that changed his life. It was Sputnik being launched into space. In that moment, he was hooked – on science.


Timid and terrified, Ski Patrol Lee still tried to lead his team by example even during the harshest weather on Mount Seymour. This moral lesson would become an inspiring cliché that he would use to guide Capilano U through its rocky beginnings as a clutch of portables. He still admits that he likes a smooth run, which is more often accomplished by prune juice parties nowadays.


Lee’s strong suits in high school were mathematics and physics. He graduated from Delbrook Highschool before going on to obtain his PhD in physics. He began teaching at Cap College shortly thereafter, moving into the derelict classrooms of the original campus at West Van High.


The young beefcake Lee, now a doctor, made good use of his physics superpowers during the early years at the rundown West Van High campus. He recalls a leak in the ceiling that poured water right on the over-head projector. Using his superior calculating abilities, he transmogrified the obtusitude of an umbrella with a slide rule, thereby creating a shelter to for the projector, which allowed him to continue teaching the class. Excelsior!

 As a professor of math and physics, coordinator of the electronics program, chair of the natural sciences, Dr. Lee had his diligent little paws in every area of the school. He went on to become the registrar analyst, and eventually became acting Dean, then Associate Dean and then Dean again. Some might believe his accomplishments were won through hard work and exceptional intelligence, but in fact, this is not true. His success was actually due to his status as an elder vampire, which he obtained from preying on his students who were then buried in the graveyard behind Cap. See the Courier archives for details – www.capilanocourier.com.

Dr. Lee began his term as Associate Dean in a windowless office. He recalls it fondly, as a newly appointed vampire elder might, due to its lack of flesh-searing sunlight. At this point, Capilano College had been officially relocated from West Van High to its current home, which was a concession for Dr. Lee, who was really pushing for a cave-based campus.


An aging Dr. Lee kept his brow furrowed for the future possibilities of Cap. In yester-year, he tried to avoid taking sides on issues until all opinions had been expressed. He was constantly thinking ahead and avoiding 'the moment,' as its importance was just a stoned fantasy of his dirty hippy peers. 
Now, he is attempting to bring the Squamish campus to the prominence that the North Van campus enjoys.

His progressive policy of corporatizing the school (screw you, hippies) would place Lee in the position of president of Capilano U – then Capilano College.


Finally, after many years in a windowless office, the powerful vampire Dr. Lee has learned to tolerate moderate amounts of sunlight, though he must draw on the collective life-force energy of the student body. “Being surrounded by all the young people at this school is very invigorating,” says Lee. He creeps the campus from his office and stalks our cafeteria; a silent servant to us scholars, he sops up our youthful vibes, constantly wondering what more he can do to get blood from the students. Nay, for us!

// Words Kevin Murray
// Illustrations Reza Naghibi

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© 2011 The Capilano Courier. phone: 604.984.4949 fax: 604.984.1787 email: editor@capilanocourier.com