Recently, the topic of sex noises was bought to my attention. Are women always as loud as porn stars? Do men make sex noises? Is it appropriate to be loud when you are living at home? Let's tickle this juicy topic until it squeals.
If you and your partner are new at having sex, your old masturbation habits are going to be easier to fall into. Young people are usually required to masturbate quietly when living at home to avoid parental embarrassment. Shirley, a female Cap student says: “I've noticed when I masturbate and cum, I am always silent.” When she’s having sex, however, she claims to enjoy making noise.
The differences between masturbation and sex are vast, and the connection with another person is key. Where with masturbation you are concentrated entirely on your own pleasure and have full control over what is happening, having sex with another person changes a lot of things. Not only are you concentrating on another person’s pleasure as well as your own, but you cannot predict with they are going to do to you. Pleasure noises can erupt when your partner does something you don’t expect, or when you want to communicate that what they are doing feels great.
“I love when guys moan cause it's like ‘Oh hey, I'm doing this right’, which is always good.” says Lola. Not only are sex noises useful to tell your partner that they are doing a good job, but they are easy to incorporate into the arousal process. “Sex noises are a turn-on, either from my mouth or from my boyfriend's mouth,” says Chantal C. Maybe dirty talk is a little hard to get into, but Chantal says that the best way to overcome the awkwardness is to laugh. “We don't take it super seriously.”
A 48 year-old woman in England named Caroline Cartwright was actually recently charged by her neighbours for making extremely loud sex noises. Her reportedly 47 decibel pleasure sounds got her arrested, tangled in a scandalous court case and charged with a noise abatement order and hefty fine. Apparently, her neighbours were losing sleep and found the sex sounds distasteful.
How loud are young people, though? With living expenses so high and most university students either residing at home or living with roommates, how loud do people let themselves get? It seems pretty tacky to scream away with your roommates in the den trying to study, and the idea of letting your parents hear you having sex seems to revolt just about everyone. “I live with my boyfriend and his parents,” says Jen, “So when they're here, it’s just small moans and so on, but when they're not, its usually louder moans.”
But if you can turn them off at will, are sex noises an honest way of expressing pleasure, or is it just something porn stars do to tell you they’re acting? If your pleasure sounds are controllable, are they even legitimate at all?
According to a survey done in 2000, 72% of women reported faking an orgasm. Loud screaming, moaning and groaning noises are apparently the sure-fire indicators of a fantastic female orgasm. Making noise, however, is not that hard to do. A loud period of moaning followed by soft whimpering and sighing does not an orgasm make.
Sex noises are a way of sinking into the pure physicality of sex, a way of moving away from coherent thoughts and toward responsive behaviour. Sex noises happen when people are letting go of their inhibitions, which explains why drunken people are so loud when they’re fucking.
Another vocal tool you can use during sex is dirty talk. Though it's not something that comes naturally to everyone, with practice, eventually it stops feeling so absurd and starts getting pretty hot. If you're nervous about talking dirty during sex, you might try describing everything you're doing out loud. If you vocalize exactly what you are doing to each other's bodies, your actions are bound to get a lot more passionate.
Sex noises are a way of sinking into the pure physicality of sex, a way of moving away from coherent thoughts and toward responsive behaviour. Sex noises happen when people are letting go of their inhibitions, which explains why drunken people are so loud when they’re fucking.
Another vocal tool you can use during sex is dirty talk. Though it's not something that comes naturally to everyone, with practice, eventually it stops feeling so absurd and starts getting pretty hot. If you're nervous about talking dirty during sex, you might try describing everything you're doing out loud. If you vocalize exactly what you are doing to each other's bodies, your actions are bound to get a lot more passionate.
Generally you should just do what feels comfortable for you and your partner, but if you find yourself in the house alone sometime, try getting a little loud. It will help you let loose and get extra comfortable with your animal nature. Noises are a great way of communicating during sex and, like Lola says, “Who doesn’t love sex noises?”
If you have your own questions or concerns, e-mail sex@capilanocourier.com.
//Sarah Vitet
Sex Siren
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