To The Rocky Horror Picture Show

As everyone in university knows, Halloween is a perfectly acceptable time for girls to dress as sluttily as possible. Possibilities include a big-titted witch, skilfully unwrapped mummies, and, of course, the adorable yet sexy playboy bunny. It's also an opportunity for guys to reveal their true natures and cross-dress (even though they all end up looking like Britney Spears). Dignity is easy to drop, but the perfect way to abandon all inhibitions this Halloween is to attend a screening of the cult classic Rocky Horror Picture Show, and do it in scantily-clad style.

That is where this guide will save you, for it is your map to an amazing Halloween - free of the drunken high school mates you somehow always end up partying with. Rest assured, they won’t be there because they are uncool. These useful tips will set you up for a night reminiscent of a mental mind fuck.

If you really are a Rocky Horror virgin (and just seeing the DVD doesn’t count!) you’ll need some advice. But for those who dwell among sane people, a little background history is required. Rocky Horror Picture Show is a rock-musical comedy full of sexual innuendos and references to science-fiction and horror films of the past. It was released in theatres in 1975, featuring a young Tim Curry and  Susan Sarandon, and it failed dismally. But soon, it found a cult following and began to spring up in theatres as a midnight movie. Audiences then turned it into the first and only participation film thus far.

To really enjoy the show, there are a few things you need. First, you need to know how to do the Time Warp. To start, jump to the left, hands up. Next, step to the right, a wide step. Now, hands on your hips, bring your knees in tight, then thrust your pelvis (apparently five times makes you insane). Finally, swivel those hips, baby.

You also need props. There is an extensive list of props and I suggest you really do your research so you don’t look like a Rocky Virgin, but a few of the necessities are: rice, water guns, newspaper, toilet paper, confetti, rubber gloves, noise makers, and unbuttered toast. They are each brought out at different, specific times during the movie and are absolutely necessary for a delicious night. It’s truly in-saaaaaane! Finally, you need a costume to really get you in the mood. Reminder: Sex doesn’t matter; both genders can rock the sparkly top hats, laced vests, fishnet tights, black spiky heels, garter belts, and lots and lots of sparkles. After all, it is a gender-bending fantasy film. Be sure to include a nicely whited-out face and luscious red lips.

Of course, there are many different scenes in the movie and many different costume ideas stemming from these. A bloodied nurse's smock equipped with a pearl necklace and big rubber gloves, perhaps? A butler’s suit with a balding head and long greasy blonde locks down the sides? A tiny maid’s outfit and crazy red afro hair? You get the idea.

While I can’t find words to describe this amazing sexperience, you have the opportunity to see it yourself, both October 30 and 31st at midnight, at the Ridge Theatre in Vancouver.

//Carling Grey


Enjoy it? Share this on Facebook


© 2011 The Capilano Courier. phone: 604.984.4949 fax: 604.984.1787 email: editor@capilanocourier.com