Top 4 Ways to Kill Time and Space

A Mobius strip is a single-sided surface,
often inhabited by ants in woodcuts
by M.C. Escher. “But how can any-
thing have one side?” I hear you say. Well,
making one is fairly simple. Just put a twist in
a strip of paper and tape the ends together to
form a loop. To prove to yourself that it really
has one side, take a marker and try to colour
one edge of the strip with it.

The insanity that is the Mobius
strip is in no way limited to ants
and markers. This space madness
extends to scissors as well. Taking that strip
you just made along with a handy-dandy pair
of fiskars, cut down the middle of the paper.
That might not seem that interesting, but you
may note that your strip seems longer than
before. Do it again. You now have two connected twisty ribbons.

Pick one loop and cut it in half. Now cut
your cutting speed in half, and repeat.
Continue until you have infinitely
many loops. If your first cut took two seconds,
this process should be done in about four seconds. Your last loop will be one dimensional,
and you will have created all possible Mobius
strips connected in all possible ways. This is
not a recommended step, as it may result in
the complete destruction of the universe.

You would think with all of the economic
troubles and social unrest right now, reality
would give us a break when it comes to
cutting little strips of paper. The truth is
much to the contrary.
Make two equal-sized loops of paper and
stick them together at right angles. Now cut
them both in half. Go ahead and try not to
shit yourself. It won’t help.
Regret what you’ve now done. Your relation-
ship with space will never be the same again.

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