This week at the voicebox, we brought a bunch of promo materials for
the new movie The Invention of Lying, generously (?) donated by
Warner Brothers. our swag attracted many an opinionated student, and
since we felt weird just giving this stuff away, we asked people about the
biggest lie they’d ever told. Most people still just gave us regular opinions,
which, frankly, i prefer.
Anyway, visit the voicebox on tuesday afternoons in the Birch cafeteria.
or call our hotline at (604) 984-4949, extension 5. or email voicebox@capilanocourier.com
For serious this time.
“In my opinion, the Olympics are a piece of shit. They’re
supposed to bring the world together... and they kind of do for
about two weeks, but everyone in that city is getting fucked up
the ass because they are spending all this money on stuff that
we won’t need afterward. They aren’t helping the people of
Vancouver, only the people who will be visiting. It also sucks
that they’re closing school during the Olympics. I hate the
Olympics.”
“The biggest lie that I’ve told is that I passed English. I have
actually failed it twice and my parents don’t know.”
“I think that chicken nuggets are the best food ever made, in
the history of ever. So... suck on that.”
“I’m really, really happy about that one dollar I had to pay
for my agenda. It really made my day. I love paying for things
that used to be free.”
“The truth hurts. Because when the truth hits you, it still
really hurts. It’s hurting because it’s true.”
[that is so true. -ed.]
“I once lied that I had a concussion when I didn’t, to get a
kid in trouble.”
“group projects are the worst thing that a teacher could do
to a good student’s grade.”
[i would like to apologize, at this point, for being one of the bad stu-
dents who benefits from being grouped up with good students. Sorry, ev-
eryone. -ed.]
“White lies are good. And if you are just withholding infor-
mation, that’s not lying.”
“I didn’t mean to set the backyard on fire.”
[he really did! that’s the joke! -ed.]
“I think breast cancer related items are really trendy right
now so I, like, buy them.”
“I think that the film department is really rich, and that they
should share their money with the rest of the departments.”
“So there’s this girl I like in my program. I bought her about
a dozen chopsticks because there’s this one joke about her
only having chopsticks in her house. And I completely forgot
that I bought them. So now I’m wondering whether or not to
give her the chopsticks, and if she’ll even remember the joke...
or... I don’t know. You know, I don’t know about love anymore.
Is love real? Am I going to die alone? probably. Maybe. prob-
ably.”
[Probably. -ed.]
// giles roy
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