37ISH MALE SEEKS CAREER IN BABYSITTING: Experienced in all aspects of job, have many children of my own. If you have cable TV and ESPN will consider working for cheap or free. Excellent cook (pizza, burgers, hot pockets, Budweiser, pizza). Single mothers are encouraged to send head shots. (

FOR SALE OR TRADE: Annoying magic wardrobe. Every time I try and pull out a jacket from this damn thing it sends me to another world with talking lions and cold-hearted ice queens. Looking for non-magic dresser or abundance of clothes hangers which are not possessed.

MALE4FEMALE: Level 39 Dungeon Master seeks sexy Dungeon Mistress or Dragon Princess. Interests: LARPING, Mountain Dew, Bathory, and model painting. Will only review applicants from gamers with a level 25 rating and above.

FOR SALE treadmill $500, good condition, barely used, Call Jabba

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