MONDAY
MARCH 12
MONGO
BINGO – BILTMORE EDITION
Bingo
and music! Got the itch to play bingo but being around old people reminds you
of your mortality and makes you fearful of death? Head down to the Biltmore and
play bingo with people as youthful as you! Hosted by the Knights of the
Roundtable, who are DJs! So like, dancing too? 8 PM. The Biltmore Cabaret.
$1/card, $5/6 cards.
NATIONAL
NOODLE MONTH
March
is National Noodle Month! Why do we need a National Noodle Month, you ask? Why
not! I respond with a gleeful laugh. What other food is the perfect food to eat
when you are drunk at 1am at the house of a person you barely know, but has SO
MUCH ramen in his cupboards that there’s no way he’ll miss just one package?
That’s right. Celebrate accordingly!
ST.
PATRI CK’S WEEK
Like
all other holidays, St. Patrick’s day has extended to a full week. Wear green
every day! Dress up? Give gifts! Why not! I’ll take any excuse to celebrate and
I’ll be enthusiastic the ENTIRE TIME. I will not get tired of it!
TUESDAY
MARCH 13
NOTHING
IS HAPPENING OR HAS EVER
HAPPENED
OF IMPORTAN CE ON MARCH 13
So
I’m just going to put some fun facts in here.
Enjoy!
FACT
#1: COCA-COLA DEFINITELY GIVES YOU CANCER
According
to an article by The Province, Coca-cola is altering their manufacturing
process because currently, they are over the “safe” limit for carcinogens!
They’re currently only changing their production in the States though, so
Canadians will continue drinking poison!
FACT #2: GHOSTS ARE REAL
When
I typed in “yahoo answers are ghosts real” into my google search bar, the first
answer that came up was, “Yes, ghosts are real, they are merely people without
bodies. They are not however as common as some seem to think. Some people see
them while others do not and even then some ghosts show themselves only to
certain people at certain times.” Thanks for clearing that up, Yahoo Answers!
FACT
#3: HOW TO BECOME A GOTH
Here
are eight steps to becoming a goth, courtesy of wikihow.com/Be-Goth: 1) Listen
to Goth music. 2) Dress the part. 3) Learn as much as you can [about Goth
culture]. 4) Start reading - suggestions: Bram Stoker, William S. Burroughs,
Edgar Allen Poe, etc. 5) Develop the Attitude. 6) Go to Goth clubs. 7)
Borrow/buy some magazines on Goth culture. 8) Have fun!
FACT
#4: I SAW A HOT DUDE ON THE BUS TODAY
He
had like a beard and really pretty eyes and I lurked him pretty hard. Lurking
dudes on the bus is my jam right now. If you are a hot dude and you ever get a
weird feeling like someone is staring at the back of your head, it’s probably
me.
WEDNESDAY
MARCH 14
THE
LEGEND OF ZELDA: SYMPHONY OF THE GODDESSES
This
is basically exactly what it sounds like: a bunch of video game music arranged
for orchestra! Perhaps this is the missing “link”… between your love of
orchestral music and video games???? $56.75 – $152.50.
CELTICFEST
VANCOUVER
Are
you a fan of all things Celtic? This is your week! From Mar. 14-18, CelticFest
Vancouver will be hosting a huge variety of events celebrating our Celtic
roots. Check out www.celticfestvancouver.com for a full list of events. Some of
them are free!
FORUM:
DISORDERED EATING
Know
someone with an diagnosed eating disorder or maybe worried about a friend or
loved one? Check out this forum where “holistic health coach Shelley Ugyan
shares her own experience … and provides information on how to be supportive.”
7 PM. John Braithwaite Community Centre (145 W. 1st St.). By donation!
CAPILANO
U SMALL ENSEMBLES
Are
playing at the Presentation House! Check out what the young people of the Jazz
program are getting up to and maybe make some cool new friends! 8 PM.
Presentation House (333 Chesterfield Ave.). $10 (free cookies and tea!).
THURSDAY
MARCH 15
ST.
PADDY’S DAY PUB NIGHT
The
CSU is hosting a celebration in honour of St. Patrick, famous leprechaun! Partiers
are encouraged to wear green and get wasted. There will be karaoke and,
undoubtedly, people wearing silly hats. Someone please do some Enya. Tickets
can be purchased at the CSU office. 7:30 PM. Mosquito Creek Bar and Grill (2601
Westview Dr.).$10 (includes burger and beer).
SWOLLEN
MEMBERS
What
better way to celebrate St. Patrick’s Week than by seeing Swollen Members.
Pretend it’s 2001! Shout, “PLAY FUEL INJECTED. WHERE’S NELLY FURTADO.” Wear
green? Definitely get drunk. 9 PM. Venue (881 Granville St.). $22.50.
LUNCHTIME
CONCERT
As
a part of CeltFest Vancouver, Ivonne Hernandez and Jeremy Walsh are giving a
free lunchtime concert downtown! Hernandez “brilliantly embodies a new and
multi-cultured vision of folk music” whereas Walsh “has been described as
"one of the finest Canadian folk singer/songwriters of his
generation". Fun! 12 – 1 PM. Plaza @ Pacific Centre. Free!
FRIDAY
MARCH 16
NO
ISLAND ALBUM ANNIVERSARY SHOW
These
guys! These guys all go to school at Cap! You should go and support them and
listen to a “new brand of rock that blurs the lines between genres and
generations.” Also featuring Isobel Trigger and Bed of Stars. 7:30 – 10:30 PM.
Joe’s Apartment (919 Granville St.). $10 advance/$12 at door.
TEN
THOUSAND VILLAGES RUG EVENT
Looking
for the perfect fair-trade rug for your redesigned living room? Look no
further! From Mar. 16–25, “over 100 luxurious Bunyaad will be on display and
available to purchase at this unique annual event.” Neat-o! There will also be
an educational seminar held on this night, Mar. 16. Learn all about Asian rugs!
7 PM. Ten Thousand Villages Canada (2909 W. Broadway St.). Cost of rug.
FASINFRANK
SNAP FASHION SHOW
F
As In Frank, local vintage clothing boutique, is releasing a “re-worked
clothing line made from recycled vintage materials” called Snap. Check out the
new looks at this fashion show, which will also feature (non-reworked) vintage
clothing. Plus, after party with DJs! Always fun. 10 PM. Fortune Sound Club
(147 E. Pender St.). Price unlisted.
BOOK
SMUGGLER’S DAY
From
1866 to 1904, book smugglers smuggled Lithuanian-language books into Lithuania,
defying a ban by Russian authorities who were trying to stamp out their
culture! Fuck yeah! Celebrate this awesome day by defying authority eg.
defacing an advertisement by giving all the models unibrows.
SATURDAY
MARCH 17
ST.
PATRI CK’S DAY
From
what I remember, St. Patrick originally became famous because he chased all the
snakes out of Ireland. Using religion? Witchcraft? I’m not 100 per cent sure.
Maybe they were metaphorical “snakes”; evil, Protestant “snakes”. I’m rambling;
you should probably just get drunk.
VISIONARIES:
PHOENIX CHAMBER CHOIR
“Phoenix
is privileged to present the rarely-heard Luminosity by British composer James
Whitbourne, a brilliant work for choir, organ, tanpura, viola and percussion …
Also on the programme is an achingly beautiful setting of Sara Teasdale’s There
Will Be Rest by Frank Ticheli.” Music! 8 PM. Holy Rosary Cathedral. $25/20.
SPIRIT
OF THE WEST
Canadiana!
These guys are straight out of Vancouver, so if you feel like folking out hard
and feeling really locally patriotic, check it out. They were super famous for
a while in the ‘90s. 7 PM. Commodore Ballroom. $44.
BIG
ST. PAT ’S NIGHT OUT
This
night features international Celtic-fusion superstars Delhi 2 Dublin and
special guests from Luxembourg, Dream Catcher. Except genre-defying,
multilingual musical fun! 8 PM. The Vogue Theatre. $35/30.
THE
BARBER OF SEVILLE
The
opening night of this classic Rossini opera! Vancouver Opera will be performing
“the greatest comic opera of them all” from Mar. 17-25; get your culture on and
check it out! See www.vancouveropera.com for more details and full schedule.
7:30 PM. Queen Elizabeth Theatre. $35 – $180.
SUNDAY
MARCH 18
THEE
AHS, WOOLWORM , RUSKIN
I
will always rep Thee Ahs, I will always rep Woolworm, I don’t know who Ruskin
is but hey, they’re playing with two of my favey bands! Cool beans, rock and
roll. 8 PM. The Waldorf (489 E. Hastings St.). $10.
MAGNETIC
FIELDS
I
was gonna go to this but then I changed my mind. Like Magnetic Fields are
really cool, but I just bought tickets to Wayne Shorter and I’m trying to save
money to go traveling this summer and … Magnetic Fields just lost. But you
should go! It’ll be fun. 8 PM. Vogue Theatre. $32.50.
GYPSY
MARKET: SPRING VINTAGE SALE
Basically
a big cool garage sale at the Biltmore! This sounds rad: over 25 select local
vendors selling sweet vintage clothing, books, home decor, and more. Plus, two
DJs and drink specials! Can anyone say “day drunk shopping”?? I can. I wish I
said it more often, when asked, “What’s up?” 11 AM – 5 PM. The Biltmore
Cabaret. $2 entrance.
8TH
ANNUAL ST. PATRI CK’S DAY PARADE
Kid-friendly
family fun! Who doesn’t love a parade? Props to the homies who know why I, personally,
do not like this parade (and, trust me, normally I love parades) and can no
longer play the song “Mairi’s Wedding” without feeling a little berserker. 11
AM. Downtown Vancouver. Free!
//Celina Kurz, copy editor
//Celina Kurz, copy editor
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