Look
for the Voicebox on Tuesday afternoons in the Birch cafeteria, to anonymously “voice”
your “opinion” on any “topic.” Introverted alternatives include emailing your
opinion to voicebox@capilanocourier.com,
or texting (778) 886-5070.
“Hey,
what did you think of the Superbowl half-time show?”
While
it’s not exactly “fair” for a bunch of people to watch a televised performance and
tear it to pieces based on what we see and hear, I will say that the very
grainy and delayed version I watched online of the show was complete crap. It
would be absolutely redundant for me to sit here and pound out an enraged
opinion asking, “Why is Madonna even relevant?” or “Why don’t they get someone
who will actually sing rather than lip-synch over her tracks?” My question to
you is, “Did you laugh? Was it funny?” Yes, you did. It was therefore
successful. A life of LOLs.
“If
you hosted Saturday Night Live what would the sketches be like?”
I’m
sure it would actually be up to the writers of the show to decide what I would
end up portraying. Not to mention Seth Myers took over from Tina Fey as head
writer so my options are going to be much less wonderful than they could have
been during her reign. That said, here are a list of sketches I would *like* to
be a part of:
◆ The Lion King:
during which I play a live-action Scar and get to talk about what it’s like to
be the King of a desolate wasteland. For the purposes of comedy, the sketch
would be based in my hometown of Trail, B.C. Laughs!
◆ Terrible Baby:
in which someone plays a really ill-mannered giant baby (always scary) who
cannot be tamed by its parents or grandparents. I play a psychic medium who is
brought in to tame the baby’s blues, and does so with unconventional methods,
such as listening to Rihanna hits and eating prunes.
◆ Major Eyeroll:
An unamused student (me) groans and moans over all of their useless classmates’
English oral reports, and the teacher (played by the sexy sexy Jason Sudeikis)
gets angry at me for doing so. The real climax of this skit is that I deliver
an Operatic tribute to James Frey, and I’m actually the world’s biggest dummy
of the whole class! Hilarious!
◆ Cake for
Friends: Myself and Andy Samberg deliver a rap/sung “digital short” about
making cakes for all of our friends’ birthdays. Guest cameos include Bill
Murray and Kid Cudi
.
◆ The musical
guests would be Gwen Stefani and Tony Bennett featuring Kanye West, and Ryan
Gosling dancing.
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