MONDAY
JAN. 30
JJ
MONDAY
Today's
calendar Monday is brought to you by JJ because he accidentally turned off my
computer when I was writing the calendar and I'm a dummy and I forgot to save
periodically, so he felt bad! My lesson learned. Anyways, enjoy JJ Monday!
ALICE
IN WONDERLAND.
Editor-in-Chief
Samantha Thompson’s younger sister Zoë stars as the Doormouse in this, a
charming rendition of the Lewis Carroll classic! I personally can’t WAIT to see
a Depp-free Mad Hatter! 7 PM. Killarney Secondary School. Tickets $10 at door
(limited)
HOW
I MET YOUR MONDAY.
There
may or may not be a new episode of this charming television hit on today! If
there is, tune is and lose your mind to how ravishing Jason Segel is! If
there’s not, watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall on YouTube. I have
no clue. Maybe this should be called “Jason Segel Day”. Rejoice! Your house. My
house. Free.
EMILIE
AUTUMN: FIGHT LIKE A GIRL TOUR.
I
have no clue who this is, but she looks like a steampunk goth, and that’s
alright I guess. It looks like a Valentine’s Day burlesque festival! I hope
Cher turns up! The Rickshaw. $15/19
TUESDAY
JAN. 31
MOVIE:
MISS REPRESENTATION
The
CSU's Women's Collective is hosting a screening of Miss Representation, a film that
explores the role that the media plays in the oppression of women. A light
lunch will be provided, but attendees are encouraged to bring snacks to share
in the style of a “pot-latch”. Yum! 11:30 AM. CSU Lounge (Maple 116). Free!
MOVIE:
MISS CONGENIALITY
I
will be hosting a screening of Miss Congeniality, the classic
Sandra Bullock film that explores the role that female FBI agents play in
beauty pageant-related assassination cases. A light dinner consisting of
popcorn will be provided, and I might be able to scrape up some sodas. 7 PM. My
house. Free!
DIVAS
& DUDES
Putting
the fun in fundraiser! The Frolicking Divas are an independent female
production company that are looking to stage a female version of The Odd
Couple and
hosting a delightful evening of fun, dancing, silent auction items, and more! Eighties-themed
apparel is encouraged, and a prize will be awarded to the best costume. 9 PM.
The Waldorf Hotel. $12/10.
NEW
MUSIC TUESDAY
From
JJ: You probably already downloaded them if you care, but today sees new
releases from historic artists (Leonard Cohen) and major flops (Lana Del Rey).
Whatever your flavour, you’ll probably end up downloading it and listening to
it once before returning to a never-ending loop of Beauty and the Beast soundtrack. The
internet or a record store. Your call. Free – $15.
THE
$100 WINNER-TAKES-ALL VARIETY SHOW
“Patrick
Maliha hosts a show where each contestant gets up to five minutes to show off
their star talent. At the end of the night, the audience votes for its
favourite and the winner gets $100.” A classic formula! Something about variety
shows really appeals to me; something about them is just distinctly North
American. 9 – 11 PM. Fray (3980 Fraser St.). Free!
WEDNESDAY
FEB. 1
FEBRUARY
1
From
JJ: It's the first day of the month! A chance to revamp your New Year's resolution!
A day to really think about what "leap year" means! A day to question
the first "R" in February. Also to wonder why there's a D in
Wednesday. What the hell! I'm so confused. In my head. All day. Price depends
on your own BRAIN POWER.
MARRIAGE
With
Valentine's day coming up, this is a big deal. At this forum, “moderator Amir
Kamyabnejad questions why arranged marriages, often between two people who had
never met before marrying, have a higher success rate.” My guess is that it's
because they probably share a lot of basic cultural beliefs and practices;
check out this event and find out if I'm right! 7 PM. The Grind & Gallery
(4124 Main St.). Free!
JJ
GOES TO CALENDAR GIRLS
This
popular play about naked middle-aged women is back in Vancouver, and tonight,
the Courier's
Art Director JJ Brewis will be hittin' it up with his sister! If you can't make
it tonight, it will be running until Feb. 26; be sure to check it out! See
artsclub.ca for more details. 8 PM. Artsclub Theatre – Industrial Alliance
Stage. $29 – $65.
CAPILANO
U'S JAZZ STUDIES SMALL ENSEMBLE RECITAL
Want
to meet some rad fellow students and jazz out hard to some jazz? Tonight at the
Presentation House, third-year Jazz Studies students will be holding a recital
for their Small Ensemble course. It will be jazzy, and all of these people are
rad and cute, so you should check it out! Plus, tea and cookies! 8 PM.
Presentation House (333 Chesterfield Ave.). $10.
THURSDAY
FEB. 2
GROUNDHOG
DAY
Classic
holiday! I hope the groundhog doesn't see his shadow. Or maybe I hope that he
does? Whichever one means that spring is coming and I can start wear booty
shorts.
GROUNDHOG
DAY
YAWN.
You wake up. It's still groundhog day? Didn't we already do this? You look in
the mirror. You have turned into Bill Murray.
GROUNDHOG
DAY
YAWN.
You wake up. What. What is happening. You are ripping the pages out of your
page-a-day calendar; Feb. 2, Feb. 2, Feb. 2. You feel an overwhelming sense of
frustration and insanity. You start to sweat and your skin becomes clammy.
GROUNDHOG
DAY
YAWN.
You wake up. You slept poorly and now you have woken up to realize that your
nightmare continues in waking life; it is still groundhog day. You weep to
yourself; your weeping turns into vocal, gutteral sobs, which turn into howls
of despair.
FRIDAY
FEB. 3
NO
LONGER GROUNDHOG DAY
Thank
goodness! You learned your lesson, and now it's tomorrow. The spell is broken.
You will be forever haunted by your occult experience.
QUIET
CITY #9
According
to the event pages, Quiet City is a “series of deep-listening concerts in
Vancouver, focused on live performances of experimental, electronic and
improvised music” and it features a variety of local and touring musicians. Far
out/ heavy/yeah, man. Quick VIVO story: my friend once got drunk and
belligerent and kicked in the window at VIVO. 9 PM. VIVO Media Arts Centre (1965
Main St.). No price listed.
(THE
WOMAN IN) BLACK (FRIDAY)
From
JJ: Daniel Radcliffe’s first movie since the Harry Potter finale, The Woman
In Black,
premieres today! I hear it’s about a mischievous group of kids who fight off
bad guys and wear sinister looking cloaks. Sounds unique! Movie theatres
everywhere. Around $12 or so?
LOS
CAMPENSINOS
I
never saw these guys when I was a youth, but I remember that when I WAS a
youth, they were super huge with all my cooler friends. I think they might be
ska? 8 PM. The Electric Owl. No price listed.
SATURDAY
FEB. 4
NEEDS,
REAL BOYS, EEEK!
Don't
be scared! Eeek! is just the name of the Courier's resident
music-columnist-turnedregular- contributer/distributer, Colin Spenny. It's an
early show, so you can go to this show to rock out, and then go somewhere else
and keep rocking out! Extended periods of rocking out! 8 – 11 PM. The Biltmore
Cabaret. $6.
STYX
Ahhh!
The classic rock band Styx will be gracing our city! I've loved Styx ever since
my band performed “Come Sail Away” with Boogie Monster at a yacht rock-themed
night at the Biltmore. We got free drink tickets and it was utterly fun. Seriously,
it's one of the best songs of all time. It's about aliens! And, one could
argue, about life itself. I'm listening to it right now. 8 PM. Red Robinson
Show Theatre. 70.40/80.40.
STILL
LISTENING TO STYX
It's
so good, guys! I would say the pinnacle of the piece comes around 4:22. Key
change! “I though that they were angels, but to my surprise/they climbed aboard
their starship and headed for the skies!” There's really something in this song
for everybody.
MONSTER
JAM
Okay,
there isn't actually a description of this event. It's probably a monster car
rally or something, but what I WANT it to be is either a) a bunch of monsters
jamming out to rock and roll, b) a canning seminar presented by monsters, c) a
very, very large jar of jam that people pay money to see. 7 PM. BC Place
Stadium. Mystery cost aka I'm too lazy to figure it out.
SUNDAY
FEB. 5
WILCO
with WHITE DENIM.
From
JJ: I have never seen this band, but I probably should. They get points in my
book for having really pretty art on the covers of their albums. From Celina: I
went to see Wilco for free with my now-ex-boyfriend so sadly their music is now
tainted for me with memories. The Orpheum. 8pm. $47.50/$39.50
THE
GAT HERING OF THE FORCES OF LIGHT: UFOS AND THEIR SPIRITUAL MISSION
Yes,
please. “Multimedia presentation based on British author and futurist Benjamin
Creme's latest book about the divine forces seeking to assist humanity.” Yes,
please! All of that. I want it. 2 PM. Roundhouse Community Arts and Recreation Centre.
Free!
SEAFOOD
SUNDAY
Inject
some “fun” into your weekly menu by eating seafood today! Some types of seafood
include clams, halibut, bass, salmon, scallops (personal favey), an entire
giant squid. Vegetarians: try seaweed! Very healthy! Dinnertime. Your house.
Cost of fish.
//Celina
Kurz, copy editor
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