MONDAY
FEB. 13
ANTI-VALENTINE'S
DAY SHOW
Or,
as it says on their event page, “The Nightmare Before Valentine's Day.” This
sweet show features Gold&Youth, Philoceraptor, and awesome Vancouver
sweethearts Watermelon. Seriously, I would totally ask Watermelon to be my
Valentine if music was people and I hadn't decided to be super goth this
Valentine's Day. 9 PM. The Biltmore. $8.
A
BLESSING ON THE MOON
Presented
as a part of the Chutzpah! Festival, this piece of music-theatre is based on
the book of the same name by Joseph Skibell, and tells the “surreal and magical
tale” of a man killed in wartime Poland searching for the afterlife. Featuring
the Warsaw Village Band, this is sure to be a very cool and spooky bit of
theatre! 8 PM. Norman & Annette Rothstein Theatre. $26/22/16
A
PERSONAL NOTE
A
while ago on this calendar, I made fun of Bon Iver. I think I said something
like “I don't get why everyone comes over him”, or something along those lines.
I just want to officially rescind that little moment of making-fun, because
over the last two days, I've really been getting into For Emma, Forever Ago. It's really a
very beautiful album and it tugs at my heartstrings in a really aching kind of
way.
TUESDAY
FEB. 14
VALENTINE'S
DAY
It's
here! The perfect day to express how you feel to the people that you love. Some
choose to do this with chocolate, dinner dates, perhaps even large romantic
gestures such as proposing via Jumbotron. I'm going to express my feelings by
dressing like a goth.
12TH
ANNUAL PEOPLE'S PROM
A
sweet and rad dance party where everyone is encouraged to dress up really crazy
and beautiful and they give out prizes and it will be way better than your
“real” prom where you drank so much you blacked out and slapped your best
friend. Sarah Vitet, editor-in-chief, endorses this event! Also it's
Valentine's Day, so what better way to celebrate love than to dance and party?
8 PM. The Waldorf. $10.
TOTAL
CHINESE BUFFET OF LOVE & HATE
This
actually sounds like a fantastic way to celebrate Valentine's Day: all-you-can-eat
Chinese/Japanese buffet plus live stand-up comedy! Eating buttloads of Chinese
food is the kind of thing that anyone can enjoy, single or committed! 7 – 10:30
PM. Kentizen Chinese Cuisine (Tinseltown Village, 88 E. Pender St.). $25/30.
SINGLES
VALENTINE'S SPEED-DATING PARTY
This.
Is. The. Most depressing party I can imagine. I think I would actually kill
myself before I went to a “speed-dating party” at the Blarneystone. Can we
rename this event? “A Bunch Of Lonely Drunk People Looking To Bone.” There. At
least that's honest. 6:30 – 8:30 PM (with DJ's after til 2 AM). The
Blarneystone. No price listed.
EMMA
POSTL TRIO AT THE KOZMIK ZOO
I'm
going to this, so if you wanna hang out with me and listen to some beautiful
noises, you should come. Also, feel free to dress like a goth and then we can
look like hilarious jazz-goths, rare subgroup of goths. Also, all jazz
standards are love songs! So like, if you're emotionally stable and in a
relationship, it'll be pretty romantic, except for the weird goth crying in the
corner. 8 PM. The Kozmik Zoo. $5.
WEDNESDAY
FEB. 15
MAKEOUT
WEDNESDAY
This
is an internationally recognized holiday wherein, if Valentine's Day was too
superdepressing for you to function, you can just find someone and, without any
pressure, just make out with them in a closet or something. No fucking
presents, no colour scheme, none of that shit; just pure, consensual make outs.
The way love was supposed to be.
NOORD
NEDERLANDSE DANS
One
of Holland's premiere contemporary dance academies graces Vancouver as a part
of the Chutzpah! Festival. According to the LA Times, “the audience
responded with nothing less than a collective sigh at the fragility, beauty
and, finally, the resilience of life.” Sigh! You can also catch the on Feb. 16
and 18; see www.chutzpahfestival.com for more details. 8 PM Norman and Anne
Rothstein Theatre. $26/22/16.
LEN
ARULIAH SEXTET
This
sextet features “Len on soprano and alto saxes, Jared Burrows (guitar), Joe
Poole (drums), Colin Maskell (tenor sax), Brent Gubbels (bass), and Lorne
Kellett (keyboards).” Aruliah's compositions are heavily influenced by Kenny
Wheeler and are really, really cool; be sure to check this out! Aruliah is from
England, so we're pretty lucky to get to hear this stuff. 8 PM. Presentation
House (333 Chesterfield Ave.). $10.
THURSDAY
FEB, 16
CHICAGO
Definitely
confused this band with the band Boston in my head just now. But still! Classic
rock! Who doesn't love it? I hope that Chicago is classic rock. I clearly don't
know very much about them, but I'm assuming they're similar to Boston, but
like, a couple states over (ha ha ha). 8 PM. Red Robinson Show Theatre.
$116/96.
DAVID
HASSELLHOFF
When
I first saw this I thought it was a joke. David Hassellhoff? I thought to
myself. Isn't he in rehab or something? But no! As a part of Vancouver
ComedyFest, we get to see David Hassellhoff. Is he even funny? I always thought
of him as a more laugh-at than a laugh-with. 7 PM. The Centre in Vancouver for
Performing Arts. $36.50 – $44.50.
DON
QUIXOTE
Don
Quickzote! That romantical, getting-in-ladypants-famous, wacky guy! The
National Ballet of Cuba will be performing this classic piece in Vancouver for
today until Feb. 18, so be sure to snap up some tickets while they're still in
town. 8 PM. Queen Elizabeth Theatre. $58.75 – $109.50
SWEET
SHOW AT THE BILTMORE
It's
a sweet show, okay? Featuring Lost Lover's Brigade, Chains of Love, Ville
Kulla, and the premiere performance of Slim Fathers. The first time I saw Lost
Lover's Brigade, it was an acoustic performance, and I just remember being
completely blown away by the songs and the voice. Check it out, please. 8 PM.
The Biltmore. $8.
FRIDAY
FEB. 17
TECHNICALLY
SPRING BREAK
You
know what you have to look forward to? Nine sweet, sweet days of no responsibility
(other than, I guess, studying for that midterm you have next week; but it's so
easy to forget about that) and no school. I'm going to eat popcorn for every
meal, finish watching Buffy, and have some sweet hang time with my
besties. So stoked, guys. I'm going to be blissful.
MAC'S
SWEET BEER PONG PARTY
Mac
Fairbairn, tall, brunet ex-Courier employee, is throwing a “beer pong
tourney” at The Narrows. It'll be off the hook! 8 PM. The Narrows. Free!
BLEATING
HEARTS ALBUM RELEASE SHOW
Bleating
Hearts are a sweet 8-piece indie rock band who have been around for what seems
like ages but are releasing their first record, so get excited, people! The
album will be on sale at the show for a mere $5, and opening the night will be
Korean Gut (super good) and Shawn Mrazek Lives! (he has a really cute kid and
he drummed for The Doers!). 8 PM. The Waldorf. $8.
SHOW
ME LOVE: '90S DANCE PARTY
Who
doesn't love the '90s? If you answered, “Me, I'm the one who doesn't love
them,” then I'm very sorry, I don't want to have a conversation with you
because it will only end in tears (yours). If you continue talking, and say, “I
don't really like dance parties either,” then I've probably already left the
room because my rage has consumed me. 9 PM. Library Square Public House. $12
cover.
ICE
CREAM SOCIAL
If
the '90s ain't your thang, maybe you at least like the charming era popularized
recently by such shows as Mad Men? Perhaps you at least love the
dance-friendly sounds of early rock 'n roll? “No,” you respond, you person who
I do not understand. “I do not enjoy it, I find those sounds unpleasant.” All
right. It's cool. I – I can handle this. 10 PM. The Biltmore. $10.
SATURDAY
FEB. 18
BILL
YOU MURRAY ME? GROUP ART SHOW
This
sounds hilarious and so fun! This event promises to be a “one-off night of
debauchery … Guests are expected to bring red toques, housecoats with pipe in
hand and be bearded.” Expect a plethora of Bill Murray themed art; the best
kind of art(?). 7 PM – 2 AM. The Fall Gallery (644 Seymour St.). Price unlisted.
FAMILY
SCIENCE DAYS
“Touch
live sea creatures, create an earthquake, and see the invisible all in one
place” UM OKAY. See the invisible? God, nature is so fantastic, so magical.
Create an earthquake? PLAY GOD? This event is happening tomorrow, too, so be sure
to check it out. 11 AM – 5 PM. Vancouver Convention Centre – West. Free!
BETTY
WHITE
This
lady is just the sassiest woman, and I love her for that. When it comes to old
women, Betty White might be the only person I'd be more stoked to see than a)
either of my grandmas b) the Queen. As a part of the Vancouver Comedy-Fest,
she'll be doing two shows, one at 7pm and one at 9:30pm. 7/9:30 PM. The Centre
in Vancouver for Performing Arts. $50 – $145.
VANCOUVER
CANUCKS VS. TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS
Seriously
guys, there are so many better things to be doing tonight than watching hockey
in a bar/at your friend's house/at Rogers Arena/ever talking about hockey ever
again. But if you insist, tonight there is one of those things that I hate (a
sports game). 4 PM. Rogers Arena. Astronomically overpriced.
SUNDAY
FEB. 19
GHIBLI
PARTY IN MY GARAGE
Everyone's
invited! Bring your sleeping bags and we'll all loll about on the floor and
watch anime for six or seven hours; it will be a transformative experience. I'm
making crazy popcorn and I'll buy some delicious soda and it'll be awesome. Spring
Break is coming up, no school tomorrow! Bring some snacks! We'll order pizza! 4
PM – 1t AM. Celina's House . Free!
DIE
ANTWOORD
Claire
says, “I don't even know how … um … I dunno, it's just weird how they're
obviously a satire of something but no one really knows what they're satirizing
… I can't believe you're typing this fast!” I don't know anything about Die
Antwoord aside from them being “freaky” so I made Claire say something lol.
Thanks Claire! 8 PM. Commodore Ballroom. $40.50.
MARGARET
CHO
So
many funny women, such a small city, Vancouver can't handle itself! Also a part
of the Vancouver ComedyFest, comedienne Margaret Cho will be sassing us hard
with some rad stand up. Check it out! 8 PM. The Centre in Vancouver for
Performing Arts. $35 – $75
BENNY
GREEN TRIO
This
trio features Peter Washington on bass, Kenny Washington on drums, and Benny
Green on piano, touring the first trio record made by Green as a group leader
in ten years. A bunch of my friends are skipping my Ghibli sleepover for this,
so I'm sure it will be good. 8 PM. The Jazz Cellar. Price unlisted.
//Celina Kurz, copy editor
//Celina Kurz, copy editor
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