MONDAY JAN. 23
PUSH FESTIVAL
This technically starts on Jan. 17, but maybe you didn't know about it yet! PuSh International Performing Arts Festival is held every January and purports to “[present] groundbreaking work in the live performing arts.” I'll put in a few of the events being held in this calendar because I think they rule, but check out pushfestival.ca to check out what's being offered!
DO YOU WANT WHAT I HAVE GOT?: A CRAIGSLIST CANTATA
Local musical genius Veda Hille and CBC's Bill Richardson have teamed up to write this hilarious, lol-filled musical based off of Craigslist ads. I saw a preview of this at the Vancouver Folk Fest a few years ago and I literally could not stop laughing. Definitely worth going to see! Running until Feb. 11. http://pushfestival.ca/ shows/craigslist-cantata/ for more details.
FUCKING HANSON
Mmmmmm bop! Remember these guys? One of them got actually really hot (in the press photo anyway), one of them looks utterly douchey, and one of them looks like he'd be “the funny brother”. Take a trip into the past and check out these bros! Wear a Jonas Brothers shirt and see if anyone beats you up! 7 PM. Vogue Theatre. $35.
CRACKERJACK LIPSMACKER YOUTH POETRY SLAM
An open mic for all you slam poet wannabes, featuring Magpie Ulysses, “an anthropologist of the heart who doesn’t apologize for her vastness when she sets fire to the shade you took for shelter from this thing we call living.” The open mic is tryouts for the youth poetry play-offs in March, so if you got something bottled up, let\ it out and maybe win a prize! 7 PM. Cafe Deux Soleils. $3/6.
TUESDAY JAN. 24
THEORY OF A DEADMAN
The most important rock and roll event of the year! Do Not Miss! Maybe they'll play “Photograph”! Lol lol lol jk. Top comments from the YouTube vid of their new single : “I'm going to start a band just so I can get hot chicks in my video”. Possibly why Theory of a Deadman became a band???? To be fair, she's pretty hot. 7:30 PM. The Orpheum. $36.25/50.75.
THE PIXELATED REVOLUTION
Rabih Mroue gives “a lecture-performance on the usage of mobile phones during the Syrian revolution.” This sounds like it could be friggin sweet, guys! Presented by the PuSh Festival. 8 PM. Contemporary Art Gallery (555 Nelson St.). Free!
PLAY MOUSETRAP WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND
It's been a while since you guys hung out; I think it's time for a game night. Mousetrap is a classic game that you can both enjoy. Maybe grab a bottle of wine (each)? The night will probably devolve into just talking about all the shit that exists, and you'll just remember why you guys are best friends. You're welcome. 8 PM. Your house. Priceless.
WEDNESDAY JAN. 25
EAT THE STREET PRESENTED BY PUSH FESTIVAL
I've never heard an idea better than this: grades 5 and 6 students will be going to restaurants in the Gastown area and giving brutal food critiques, and we're all invited to watch. This event will go on until Feb. 4, at a different restaurant every evening, listed on the PuSh website. Tonight it's at Irish Heather GastroPub; 6 PM. Cost of meal mmm!
BEAT NATION LIVE
Beat Nation Live is a “cross platform collective that brings together visual artists, writers and musicians sharing the vibrant spirit of contemporary indigenous culture through hip hop, live music and digital technology” and features a huge spread of talented First Nations artists and musicians. DJ/VJ set by Impossible Nothing and Skookem Sound. 8 PM. Club PuSh at Performance Works (1218 Cartwright St.). $24.
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST 3D
Be the guest of your local movie theatre and check out this classic Disney movie in three eye-popping dimensions! Shiver in fear when Belle gets stuck in the woods with those freaky wolves! Sing along with the cutlery dancing around you! Feel the goosebumps on your arms when the Beast realizes “she's never looked at me that way before”! Fuck Yeah Disney. Evening. Hollywood. Priceless.
TIME OUT TIME
It's time to have a time out, maybe. You're stressed out, you double booked your Friday night so you're gonna have to let somebody down, you have stupid homework! So just take a time out. Watch Much More Music Countdown and just let yourself cry. Remember: there's no one like you, and somebody loves you. Big hugs!
THURSDAY JAN. 26
RIO THEATRE'S NEW LIQUOR LICENSE
While this is a bittersweet victory since they apparently can no longer show movies, this is a pretty great victory for the Rio Theatre. “Kitty Nights' the Purrrfessor and Caba Radio's DJ Teddy Smooth host burlesque and jazz performances by Pandora and the Locksmiths” plus free snacks and popcorn! 7:30 PM. The Rio Theatre. Free!
SHITTY EPISODE OF GREY'S ANATOMY
According to Samantha Thompson: “It's not going to advance the plot … and it's coming after an episode that left a lot of loose ends.” Sam is just a little mad about TV right now though; she's watching Buffy and Angel is about to have something awful happen to him, so she's bummed about that. Also there was that whole Glee fiasco last week. 9 PM. Television. Free!
THE DRIVE: A HISTORY OF COMMERCIAL DRIVE
A fascinating look into the history of one of Vancouver's most vibrant, drum-circle-friendly neighbourhoods, presented by Jak King. Cool! 7:30 PM. Museum of Vancouver. Free!
EVAN ARNSTON'S WOODEN BAND/HOMECOMING
This jazzvent features Evan Arnston playing with Bill Coon, Andre LaChance, and Andrew Millar. El Barrio features live jazz every Thursday, so be sure to come out and support these fantastic local talents! 8 PM. El Barrio. By Donation!
FRIDAY JAN. 27
THE ROTA TRIO
The Cap Classic series presents Gene Ramsbottom (clarinet), Lee Duckles(cello), and Richard Epp (piano) playing trios by Nino Rota and Carl Fruhling. What a delightful way to spend your lunch hour! 11:45 AM – 1 PM. North Shore Credit Union Centre for the Performing Arts (Birch Theatre). Free!
APOLLO GHOSTS – PUSH FESTIVAL
Not only is Vancouver's most-deserves-to-be-famous band putting on a show, they will be giving out FREE EP'S to everyone who pays cover until they run out of EP's! It's a good EP, guys. Freaking out! If you like well-crafted pop music with some punk sensibilities, you will love Apollo Ghosts. 8 PM. Club PuSh at Performance Works (1218 Cartwright St.). $10.
HERMETIC/CRYS TAL SWELLS/MUSTAPHAMOND
If you're into prog-rock-things-etc., this is a great show to hit up! Personally, not my thing, but Hermetic puts on a rad show and apparently Mustaphamond are “experimental jazz punks” which just sounds … rad? So many genres! Woop woop! 9 PM. Zoo Zhop. $5.
HUMANS WITH BLOOD DIAMONDS
Humans is being presented by Sealed With A Kiss! Aww, I remember when these guys were having their first show, this makes me feel weirdly old. To be fair, Humans might actually be older than me. But, they are really rad and props to them! Blood Diamonds, I'm not sure who they are. 8 PM. The Biltmore. $12.
SATURDAY JAN. 28
SLAM DUNK/THE COURTNEYS/ANDROGYNOUS MINDS
Sweet sweet show at Pinhole Printing! I finally went to see Slam Dunk when they played at the Biltmore a few weeks ago; it was fucking incredible. I rocked out so hard, I was a punk again. Completely amazing local band, must-see! 10 PM. 163 E. Hastings St. $5.
THEE AHS/PAY DAYMILLIONAIRE /FRANCIS/THE SYLVIAN FISSURES
More local shows! I have to rep Thee Ahs every time they play because they are the best band ever and if you haven't seen them play, you should. Payday Millionaire is also just sweet pop-rock-n-roll, and the other two bands seem like sweet noisy guitar-pedal jamouts but I've never actually heard them before. Cool! 8 PM – 12 AM. BLIM (115 E. Pender St.). $8.
INDIE I DO
Are you getting married? First of all, congratulations! I love weddings! Secondly, here's a cool event you can hit up to help give you ideas: this “alternative wedding show features over 30 DIY, local, and independent vendors.” Sigh. DIY romance! Local love! My wedding is gonna be so cute. Someday. 11 AM – 5 PM. Heritage Hall.
BLINK-182 NIGHT
Tonight we will do what Blink-182 does. We will ignore all the parents telling us to clean up our rooms and do our homework, we will date a guy (girl) who is in a punk band, we will wear black clothing and dye our hair blue. All night. At the rock show (maybe one of the rock shows I listed in this calendar).
SUNDAY JAN. 29
TURNING POINT ENSEMBLE: COLOURFUL WORLD
One of Vancouver's most rad new-music ensembles “reflects on a century of rich and vivid soundscapes” with a program that includes works by Claude Debussy and Toru Takemitsu as well as the premiere of a commissioned piece by Vancouver's Rodney Sharman. Surely a night to remember.
Fei and Milton Wong Experimental Theatre, 149 W. Hastings St. $10 students/$38.
THE BACKYAR DIGANS
Dude! Okay. For some reason I have the theme song to this show on my iPod. I don't know why; I never watched this show, ever. I was way too old when it came out. Anyway, it's actually a pretty good theme song. Also old people who go to Cap, bring you grandkids to this, or something. 1 PM/4 PM. Abbey Arts Centre (Abbotsford). $32.50.
YEAR OF THE DRAGON TEMPLE FAIR
Check out Claire Vulliamy's article in Arts about the various events going on for Chinese New Year's for information about this and other events happening in Vancouver! 10 AM – 4:30 PM. Dr. Sun Yat Sen Gardens (578 Carrall St.). By Donation.
THE CHINESE NEW YEAR PARADE
This one is also in Claire's article! Who doesn't love a good parade? I love parades. Recently I performed “Don't Rain On My Parade” at karaoke in a bar in Victoria; that song really expresses how I feel about parades i.e. I hate it when it rains during them. 12 PM. Chinatown. Free!
BIRDS OF A FEATHER
“Naturalist and bird watcher Bill Kinkaid leads a two-hour walking exploration of some of Stanley Park's varied and beautiful bird life.” Perfect for the person who wants to learn a little bit more about our local birdery! Or if you just like walking around with strangers, listening to smart men talk about things that they love. 9 – 11 AM. Lost Lagoon Nature
//Celina Kurz, copy editor
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