With Jordan Potter!

Earplugs are da bomb. [Via text]

Your punishment for sending such a vague, uninteresting text is that it will now be lampooned in haiku form.

Earplugs are da bomb,
My texts are unlimited
That explains a lot.

So, what is the deal with you guys and retractions? I open the paper, BOOM, first thing I see, “Retractions”, in a lovely utopia font. Do you guy’s just screw up a lot? Normally it’s something to do with screwing people’s names up. You’d think that’d be something easy to keep track of, but you guys seem to always screw it up. My 10 dollars a semester should not be wasted on a paper that frequently messes up the name of its contributors. I bet you anything that there are retractions on this page. Tell me I’m wrong! There is at least one retraction, isn’t there, isn’t there!?!?!
Ironically, this is one of the few issues this year where we didn’t need to run a retraction. Also, ixnay on the en bucks-tay, we don’t want people to come in here and start demanding “their” money “back” because of a “perceived lack of quality” or “incorrect use of quotation marks”

Giving away a bong from the student newspaper seems a bit inappropriate.
Clearly you have never read a student newspaper.

Is there pizza left?
[2nd voice] No, you missed it
[3rd voice] Damn! It was Dominos and everything.
We had free pizza for our meeting on Tuesday. These guys came late. It was funny because the way the guy said damn was super nasal; it was like he spoke it through his nose.

Here’s email that email [Via text]
Between the Voicebox and my own personal texts, sometimes I get confused what a message’s intent is when it’s not a number I recognize. I mean, either way this message doesn’t make a whole lot of sense because it is neither a complete thought, nor is it actually an email. I’m just sayin’.

You’ve used all your 100 minutes. Charges will now apply. / Vous avez utilise toutes vos 100 minutes. Des frais s’appliqueront pour les minutes supplementaires. [Via text]
Oh. I guess this one was meant for me.

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© 2011 The Capilano Courier. phone: 604.984.4949 fax: 604.984.1787 email: editor@capilanocourier.com