How to give great head

So you want to know how to give good head, eh? How to inhale the oyster? Worship at the altar? Have a box lunch? Set sail with Captain Winkie? Well, you have obviously picked up the right newspaper. Here is a super duper professional column on how to give good oral sex.

First of all, stop complaining. Nobody likes a partner who grudgingly goes down. Get in there, already. If you don’t know what to do, ask some questions, communication is always key with sex.

A good trick to start is making slow circles around her clit with your tongue. She may like more direct stimulation, but make sure to watch her reactions. Some girls are super sensitive and won't enjoy direct stimulation. In fact, if you overstimulate her clitoris before she is fully aroused, it's possible to make her clit numb. You can amp up the intensity as she gets more and more worked up. A girl who may not be able to take fast licks at first may be begging for it right before she climaxes. If you're not sure what to do with your tongue, the good ol' alphabet game usually works. Trace the letters of the alphabet over her clit with your tongue. If you want to get romantic about it you can trace messages over her clit, such as “I love you” or “Cum soon please I am getting tired”.

Also, use your hands. To hit her G-spot properly make sure your palm is toward her body, in the “come hither” motion. Insert your pointer finger first, then work in more fingers. Not everyone can take this, so read her reaction. Also, make sure she is lubricated enough. If she isn't, you can use spit, as long as you keep it flowing, or a water-based lube.

In terms of blowjob technique, it isn't necessary to be a master deepthroater. As long as you make sure your hand is super wet you can twist the base of the shaft and your mouth can gently stimulate the head. Most of the nerve endings are on the head and the front of the shaft below the head, so that's where you want to focus your efforts. Don't be afraid to shake it up, though. Try using your tongue in different ways and look up at his face to gauge his reactions.

Also, don't scrape with your teeth. Nobody enjoys that.

According to a boy I know, “It’s way better when they swallow.” Thank you, boy. It’s so much messier if you don’t. Avoid treating their splooge like poison, even if it's super salty because they don't eat anything but red meat. Alternatively, having a towel or a tissue at hand could help the squeamish.

My female friend warns, “Don’t make any stupid jerky movements ... Don’t just shove your dick in my face.” Try to respond to what your partner wants as much as you are responding to what your penis wants.

And for the girls, please don't mash your man's face with your happy place. Many guys have reported that being able to breathe helps the process. If you reach your hands down and spread your own pussy lips, it will help your partner get a good face-full while maintaining airways. Also this helps to keep your pubic hair a lot further from their mouths.

In terms of safe sex, both the guy and the girl I talked to say they never use condoms while giving or receiving oral sex. As you can contract herpes, hepatitis B, gonorrhea and even (though rarely) HIV, it is a good idea to consider condoms or dental dams. Sure, dental dams are funny sounding, but the consequences are anything but.

Also remember, you aren’t porn stars. Unless your girlfriend/ boyfriend has no gag reflex, don’t shove your cock down their throat so far they cry – not without talking about it beforehand, anyway. And in regards to cunnilingus (hot word), jaws get sore. Until you build up the jaw stamina of Violet Beauregard from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, you’ll probably have to take breaks from pussy eating every ten minutes or so to prevent jaw cramps.

Anyway, beautiful readers, have fun figuring it out (fingering it out).

Email sex@capilanocourier.com for advice or whatever. It’s a great e-mail address to have in your contacts. Just send me an e-mail, seriously.

// Sarah Vitet
sex robot

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© 2011 The Capilano Courier. phone: 604.984.4949 fax: 604.984.1787 email: editor@capilanocourier.com