The pizza sauce situation at this school is dire. There aren't any good sauces. There's no white sauce, no hot sauce, no parmesan. Like, come on.
[“White sauce” means ranch. We discussed it! -Ed.]
“I may be a little late, but I didn't like the giant swearword on the cover of last week's Courier. That is all.”
“So... Criss Angel. Every time I watch that show it's the same thing. His theme song comes on, right, and it's like 'Miiindfreeeak!' and it's actually Criss Angel screaming. Like, what the fuck. Then he finds some guy on the street and he says 'I'm gonna do some magic' and he does some magic, but it isn't actually magic. Like, it's just stuff that a guy is doing. Like, he stands in a crowded area and everyone's standing around watching him and he goes, 'Naaaaooooowww!!!' and then he levitates or whatever. I think he just goes, “Naaaaooooowww!!! so people get distracted and think he's actually doing something cool. And he's on wires. Or I saw this one where he gets dragged behind a motorcycle and he's all tied up. So he's lying in the dirt at, like, Midieval Times restaurant and they've chained him up, and he's talking about how he might die... then he shouts 'Naaaaooooowww!!!' and the motorcycle starts doing laps of the dirt track and he escapes. While it's moving. But really all he's doing is, like, squirming around. So then the chains fall off and these morons start clapping for him. Then the song comes on and it's like 'Miiindfreeeak!'.”
[That's tight. -Ed.]
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